mandag den 7. december 2015

A more specific gender

I'm getting tired of describing my gender as just "neither male nor female, but a third thing" when people ask me. I've been doing it like that up until now because it's really the simplest way of slicing a very complicated knot. Most people I meet have no prior knowledge of nonbinary genders, and I don't pretend to know exactly what gender is myself, so a clear cut "introductory" explanation like that one has been what has served me best so far. Trying to go into more detail usually caused more confusion. But "nonbinary" is, when it comes down to it, way too vague a term, and I think I'm at a point in the discourse I have with people where it's worth trying to elaborate more. I don't want all nonbinary people - everyone who is not exclusively female or exclusively male - thrown into one category. So I'll try and define what I, at least, am in a bit more detail.

So. My gender is:

  • Neither male nor female, but a third gender entirely separate from the two. It is as different from male as it is from female, and as male and female are from each other.
  • Gendered - it's not absent, I'm not agender (da: intetkøn). Though how strongly I feel gendered depends on the context, as I think it does for everyone. I don't feel my gender when I'm writing an essay on grammar, cooking lunch, or playing a board game with friends. But I do feel it when I'm discussing gender in general with people, or (often) when I'm buying clothes, I think it's an expression of how gender is created by and exists in interactions between people.
  • Orange. I'm not sure how to elaborate on this. But it's orange.
  • I don't connect it to my hobbies, my interests, my personality, and it's only partly connected to my appearance and how I dress. As said, it exists mainly if not solely in social interaction.
  • I'm not sure how connected it is to my sexual and romantic orientations. I think I'd be asexual regardless of my gender. Relationships in general I'm less sure of; I know that in my first relationship I'd occassionally feel "more masculine" around my girlfriend, but that was less present the second time we dated. I'll return to that when I have some more experience in that field (:V)
  • Trans. It's different from my assigned-by-society gender, so I define myself as transgender.
The above list is a work in progress. I might add to it later.

Ingen kommentarer:

Send en kommentar